Three Public Speaking Confidence Boosters

July 20th, 2011 Posted in Blog

 

Breathe, Feel, and See

When in the throws of feeling anxious, good breathing, visualization, and grounding yourself in the moment do work. With a caveat, just as you need to practice your upcoming presentation, you need to practice these anxiety quelling techniques too.

Are you thinking that is a lot of practicing? It is, and worth it. To stand with confidence as a speaker is one of life’s greatest gifts.

Breathe

Shallow breathing constricts our voice and contributes to anxiety. It is a confidence robber.

As the yogis tell us breathe deep from the belly. Take a breath low down in your belly and let it fill your lungs and then propel your voice. Your vocal power comes from deep breathing. Check that you are using full breath by placing a hand on your stomach and make your hand move (while practicing, not on stage – that would look weird).

If you notice that you’re breathing is shallow, stop and take a deep breath. It’s okay, your audience will think of this natural break as a conversational pause.

Confidence is created when we have optimum oxygen flow through our body and is reflected by a rocket fueled voice.

Feel

In the moment, stay grounded, and feel the fear. Sounds airy fairy, right? Wrong. When you know where you stand (literally) and you know why you stand there, this is the place of confidence.

While you are practicing and presenting feel your feet. Feel the surface that they are touching. Notice and observe where you are and who is in your presence.

If your thoughts race away, bring yourself back to where you presently stand. Own your confidence – don ‘t let it gallop away.

Visualize

Visualizing works – elite athletes are coached to use visualization techniques with scientifically proven success.

Watch yourself walk onto the stage with a bounce to your step, smiling at your audience. Then observe yourself speaking with a powerful voice and notice the audience enchanted by your words. Listen to the audience applause and the nods appreciating a job well done. Watch yourself taking the accolades in and them visualize yourself leaving the stage energized and smiling at your audience – perhaps even a little tip of the hat too. Now you have returned to your seat and you tell yourself, “I rocked it!”

If you feel your confidence drifting when you are on the stage bring yourself back to your visualization. Don’t let the confidence thief rob you.

To be confident you have to believe you can deliver the goods. Full and energized breathing, feeling the space you are holding, and seeing yourself accomplish your feats will take you down the road with a confident delivery.

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Public Speaking & My Little Secret

July 5th, 2011 Posted in Blog

Scott Berkun gets it right – yes, his post “Open Letter to Speakers” is squeamishly uncomfortable but rings true.
Why do we applaud and cheer when a speaker sucks? From a Canadian perspective perhaps because we are uber polite. From another, perhaps the audience is glad that the presentation is over and they can leave. Ouch, that stings.
This is a raw and touchy subject. Let’s face it, public speaking is not for those without courage – those willing to take a leap of faith, puff up their chests and attempt a flight. Often that lizard brain taunts us and asks, “What if I suck?”
Sometimes we do. How else would we improve and learn?
But Scott addresses his post to seasoned speakers who are likely being paid well and should know better. He speaks to those who don’t prepare or take the time to understand their audience. Those who believe that they are the anointed ones and everything is someone else’s job. Love his, “You are not Bono” quote.
HIs post is a worthwhile read for anyone who wears the public speaker hat – a wake up call for complacency.

And I have a secret to share.

This past spring I attended a top dollar, three day, international women’s event and all of the speakers except one (who knocked it out of the park) well, frankly, sucked. After each one finished I clapped and even stood up and applauded (as did my colleagues). But I swallowed a bitter pill and knew they were unprepared and arrogant – especially the male speaker who spoke of women as girls…sheesh, talk about not knowing your audience.
So there I was, a public speaking coach who defaulted to political correctness and did not want to be the bunch of sour grapes, to the end of only exacerbating a problem.
I know that in part it comes from a place, as a service provider and coach, of wanting to instill confidence in my clients and anyone who finds themselves on stage.
But if we don’t give out benchmarks (which very well may be that you or I have a long road of improvement ahead) how will we ever know if we truly suck?

To your voice,
Janice


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Can Public Speakers Fake Charisma?

April 23rd, 2011 Posted in Blog

Many of the clients and students who I work with ask me how they can acquire the allusive soft skill of charisma.

I was taken by surprise the first time I was asked and it has given me considerable food for thought.

My initial reaction was, “Either you have it or you don’t”. Hmmm. But in giving it more consideration I believe it is a component of confidence, which can be grown and nurtured throughout a lifetime.

But Carol Kinsey Goman, who is showcased in Lou Hampton’s blog “Speak to Lead” believes it can be faked.

Charisma has been described as personal magnetism or charm. To me, charisma is all about an individual’s infectious positive attitude and personal energy, as projected through his or her body language.

People are the most charismatic when they are genuinely enthused, confident and upbeat about themselves and their topic. And as a leadership coach, I help clients develop their own unique brand of charisma.

I also help them fake it. Carol Kinsey Gorman, PhD

She believes that using method acting techniques and standing powerfully in your body will have your audience perceiving you as charismatic. Also she states an interesting result – you will actually feel more charismatic too.

I believe that using power stance techniques and method acting are stop gap measures and that true charisma and confidence comes from within – from our core of believing in yourself. It is strengthened through nurturing by our family and peers. And through our successes.

Which in turn means taking leaps of faith, enduring failures and celebrating successes, and practicing until we get it right – fear of public speaking be damned!

How about you? Do you think charisma can be faked? Have you tried method acting or using the power stance to fake confidence during a presentation? Did it work and have staying power?

Image Attribution: Jörg Daniel Fluck


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“Unlavator” Speech / Pitch

June 5th, 2010 Posted in Blog

aka:  Elevator Speech

What do you think…

I’m proposing that we banish the elevator speech and replace the name with Unlavator speech.

Yes, you’re likely asking why, but deep down you know – you’ve been the victim of that 30 second spit and polish; and you’ve even spewed a few yourself.

Now really, do you think that when you have that chance meeting with Richard Branson and you espouse that perfectly polished speech that Richard will not break out into his famous belly laugh – full on – with pearly whites flashing at you?

Sir Richard will be thinking does this bloke or blokess not have any creativity or originality? Insert eye roll here. If this poor nob has to memorize who he is – well enough said.

Now, you want the deliverable. Right?

It is as easy as this:

1) Know who you are!

  • Your core values and beliefs
  • Dig deep – your mother is watching

2) Be excited and share it!

  • Are you not passionate (not my favourite word but scratching my head for a replacement) about who you are and what you do?
  • Crow from rooftops – share that cool thing you do and what you bring to the table

3) Take cues from the person you are meeting! *Hint – find out who they are and what interests them first.

  • Here is where you will need to do some nimble thinking. Yes you can! What would they find interesting about you?
  • How could what you bring to the table align with their needs or how are you a solution to their problem?

When you have the opportunity to introduce yourself – relax – you are who you are. Be proud and be excited to share. Be interested in who you are meeting.

As my colleague Sam says, “It’s the secret sauce”.

*Photo Credit: David Lat, New York

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Workshop Deconstructed ~ Three Tips

April 10th, 2010 Posted in Blog
Three Workshop Tips for Trainers
My brain is filled with new insights brought back from San Francisco. I attended two workshops last week and both sent me away with food for thought.
From a presenter and workshop provider’s viewpoint, my critical eye often focused on workshop format and execution, in tandem with content. I was looking for:
Strategies that created engagement and easy discussion
Tools that inspired & build confidence in new found skills
Understanding how memorable take-aways are built.
Engagement and Easy Discussion
How do you create an environment where your audience is comfortable enough to interact through discussion, questions, and deep learning? By making them welcome and providing a true learning environment.
Welcome is not just the initial handshake and hello. Know where your attendees are arriving from and acknowledge it – if you cannot personally meet them have someone who will. Let your audience know that you appreciate them taking the time out to come and how energized you are to share your information with them.  Welcome envelopes your entire offering.
When your guests (yes, you are the host) are comfortable they can more easily learn. They will be willing to take chances and ask questions. They will be prepared to make mistakes. But only if you provide an environment that is not judgmental but open to new learning.
New learning is accomplished when you show that you are in control, know your topic, and have every detail and problem taken care of. Your audience will be responsive to you when they know they can trust your competence – done through being a diligent and confident host.
Inspiration 101
True learning is not done by sitting in a seat and being a one way receiver. Concepts are deeply learned by execution. Get your attendees up and moving, interacting with their seat mates, and practicing concepts in small groups. Yes, this is situational and of course breaking into pods won’t work for large audiences.
Three attendees were chosen before event day for one of the workshops. They came with one minute speeches. Each was filmed after a new technique was learned and we watched a playback and compared. At the end of the day we viewed a before and after which showed remarkable improvement.
The impact of the new skill achieved remains top of mind. After each skill was demonstrated all of the attendees broke into groups and practiced together. Everyone felt comfortable (because of the trust in the facilitator) making mistakes and taking suggestions.
One of the techniques learned was to drop the tone of the last syllable – aka no Valley Girl speak. I’ve been practicing on the Cinch recording software and I am improving, but as always, there is room to tighten it up.
Create Memorable Moments
The most memorable learning in the four days I was in California was that
Vangelis Thomaidis

Three Workshop Tips for Trainers

My brain is filled with new insights brought back from San Francisco. I attended two workshops last week and both sent me away with food for thought.

From a presenter and workshop provider’s viewpoint, my critical eye often focused on workshop format and execution, in tandem with content. I was looking for:

  • Strategies that created engagement and easy discussion
  • Tools that inspired & built confidence in new found skills
  • Understanding how memorable take-aways are built.

Engagement and Easy Discussion

How do you create an environment where your audience is comfortable enough to interact through discussion, questions, and deep learning? By making them welcome and providing a true learning environment.

Welcome is not just the initial handshake and hello. Know where your attendees are arriving from and acknowledge it – if you cannot personally meet them have someone who will. Let your audience know that you appreciate them taking the time out to come and how energized you are to share your information with them.  Welcome envelopes your entire offering.

When your guests (yes, you are the host) are comfortable they can more easily learn. They will be willing to take chances and ask questions. They will be prepared to make mistakes. But only if you provide an environment that is not judgmental but open to new learning.

New learning is accomplished when you show that you are in control, know your topic, and have every detail and problem taken care of. Your audience will be responsive to you when they know they can trust your competence – done through being a diligent and confident host.

Inspiration 101

True learning is not done by sitting in a seat and being a one way receiver. Concepts are deeply learned by execution. Get your attendees up and moving, interacting with their seat mates, and practicing concepts in small groups. Yes, this is situational and of course breaking into pods won’t work for large audiences.

Three attendees were chosen before event day for one of the workshops. They came with one minute speeches. Each was filmed after a new technique was learned and we watched a playback and compared. At the end of the day we viewed a before and after which showed remarkable improvement.

The impact of the new skill achieved remains top of mind. After each skill was demonstrated all of the attendees broke into groups and practiced together. Everyone felt comfortable (because of the trust in the facilitator) making mistakes and taking suggestions.

One of the techniques learned was to drop the tone of the last syllable – aka no Valley Girl speak. I’ve been practicing on the Cinch recording software and I am improving, but as always, there is room to tighten it up.

Create Memorable Moments

The most memorable learning in the four days I was in California was that the show must go. Of course there was glitches. The sound system speakers shorted out during an afternoon session. The presenter was completely nonplussed. Because he was so well practiced – he hardly took a breath and simply carried on.

The presenter did not deliberately foresee this learning opportunity but showed his prowess while being calm during a small storm.

a world of ideas

a world of ideas

Vangelis Thomaidis

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Women Speakers and Presenters – Where Are You?

February 11th, 2010 Posted in Blog

Speaking with Marion Chapsal confirmed my understanding of why women speakers are under-represented. Both of us agreed that it is purely lack of confidence.

Let me interject here and argue against my statement. As a (woman) reader I would be annoyed (mildly put) to hear that in 2010 women lack confidence.

Lack of confidence…WT!

My theory contradicts my core beliefs and values. I’ve lived through women’s lib and have studied with confident, well educated female Gen Y’s. With the strides that women have made, why are they still the under represented gender in presentations and speaking engagements?

Marion lives in Beaujoulais country in France and I live on the west coast of Canada and from different geographic perspectives have made the same observation. Women hang back, they don’t elbow in to position themselves on the stage. Men present with bravado, women exhibit self-doubt. Women thank the audience for coming, men expect filled seats. Yes, all generalizations. However I am speaking from observation. Yes, I have seen strong, confident women speakers although not in majority.

When I conduct research for my blog I am always looking for clips of women orators/presenters. I have found meager pickings but have found many powerful examples of fine male orators. Women where are you? Challenge me, I would like to hang on to my theory of strong, confident women taking on stages and podiums.

To women who are contemplating taking a speaking role – take the leap and present with confidence. And men encourage your female colleagues to get up on the stage.

Come and Dance With Me

Michal Zacharzewski sxc


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Worse than Cold Calling ~ Networking?

January 8th, 2010 Posted in Blog

Does face to face networking make your palms sweat? Want to run for cover…

Unless you are employed as a number cruncher and have been given an inside cubicle; and/or your contact with the outside world is through a mail slot or your computer monitor – whether you like it or not – you have to get out there and meet people to grow your business.

As my better half often reminds me, “No one can see you behind that monitor – you’ve got to get out there and let them see your lovely (thank you) face. I realize you know your industry inside and out, you are hardworking, and you make work seem like fun. But no one else does unless you get out there and show yourself”.

Yes, I do live with and know, a logical and smart man. But I’m not sure he realizes what those round robin networking events are like. The speed at which business cards move between hands and people sashay around a room. I’ve witnessed people who looked as though they had to muster up their courage to attend networking events, made it to the threshold, and turned on their heels and left.

Funnily enough, networking is like public speaking – if you are not passionate about you and your service and/or product – no one else will be.

I’m sure most people struggle as I do with wanting to make connections with like-minded people who authentically want to create mutually beneficial working relationships. And with people you like and respect.

Thank you to Imelda, who clearly articulated (in a Forbes Woman LinkedIn discussion) what I have been thrashing about with. Having the confidence to bring the real me to the table and not be massaged into believing that I ‘need’ to behave in a ‘certain’ way at these opportunities to meet others.

It is my new year’s resolution to grow my business by attending 2 networking events a week- dressed in a new couture – myself.

Have you ramped up your networking lately or is it your goal for 2010. Let us know how it went – your success and failures…


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Does Your Audience Wear Executioner’s Clothing?

November 11th, 2009 Posted in Blog

This post digs deep and gets personal. Both for me and if I touch a nerve, with you. Are the hairs on the back of your neck at attention? Do you think public speaking is a fate worse than death?

When you drill down, your fear is not of public speaking, the problem is confidence in yourself. And yes, I battled it too.

My dirty little secret is I batted my eyelashes to escape all public speaking assignments in high school. Anyone who knows me knows I don’t flaunt my sexuality to garner favours. It’s not in my DNA. It was the fear of public speaking that caused me to stoop that low. It seems that I’m not alone.

My Twitter feed for public speaking spits out streams of anxiety, fear, terror…etc. Try Googling public speaking. How many of your hits return someone who will help you overcome fear, anxiety, or nervousness? Enough to make the knot in your stomach grow exponentially. This advert will likely make you run and hide under your bed.

The best advice I have received on my now defunct fear of public speaking was from a wise Scotsman who blustered, “There is no fear of public speaking, there is only lack of confidence in yourself”. Yes, it was blunt and cut to the bone, but true.

Erika Liodice’s interview with John Zimmer describes the fears that he himself has overcome to be a consummate public speaker. To listen and watch John, it appears he is just a natural speaker. That he does not need to practice and does not get adrenaline butterfly’s in his stomach just before presenting. But he, like most of us, needed to gather his confidence — his advice: don’t ponder, just take action.

If you are confident in your subject, if you know your presentation inside out, and if you passionately believe in what you are speaking, there is no fear. If you are obsessed with the vision of your beliefs, you’ll want to crow from rooftops and tell anyone who will listen about your passion. It isn’t a secret — it is that simple. Marion Chapsal nails it with her rules of four P’s. She critiques Cat Lainé’s riveting presentation. Cat draws you in with her passion and she captures you into feeling what she feels.

Here is the part where you need to dig deep. What are you really afraid of? Are you afraid of appearing stupid — then do your research. Are you afraid of forgetting — practice. Are you afraid of appearing unprofessional — stand tall, project, and dress for the occasion. Harsh, yes, but it’s not about public speaking it is about you.

Sage words from my lovely Scotsman, “What is it you would do if you weren’t afraid?”

Image Credit: Maria Li


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