This is a sappy story about my vacation and my understanding of the significance of silence. With a home movie too!
I have been preaching, ok I’ll tone that down to lecturing, on the benefits of silence while presenting.
It is all right to stop and allow a good few seconds of silence:
When you feel an um coming
When impact is needed
When you need to take a restorative deep breath
I’ve just returned from Southern Utah, driving home through Monument National Park, and the Sierra Nevadas.
Yes, it is a little shaky. I’m new to recording and loving my new Flip camera.
My driving partner in crime will attest to my awe at the sheer magnificence of red rocks, towering precipices, and gushing or meandering waterways.
They made me quiet. They made me introspective.
I realized that it is all right to be present, in the moment. And I deeply understood what I communicate to my clients. It is ok to stand in front of your audience and allow them to appreciate you and for you to appreciate them.
Students and clients are surprised when I share the importance of listening as a presenter. It is easy to conclude that as a presenter, your job is orator. Wrong. To be effective at the craft a presentation needs to listen.
Three Keys ~ When to Listen
While constructing the presentation, keep the needs of your target audience in mind, listen rather than speaking is key. Throw your bias out and understand that your perception/history is different than your audiences’.
Listen with your eyes and ears. Is your audience riveted or are they exercising their digits on their Smartphone? If they are squirming now is the time to engage them. Ask questions or move to Plan B. You do have a Plan B…
Q & A – Listen to what you are being asked. Did you cover the point in your presentation? Think about why it did not connect. Or does the question help you realize that you have created engagement and generated deeper level thinking? Strong listening skills at the Q & A stage gives you concrete insight into what worked and what did not. Great ammunition for your next presentation.
I came across this TedTalk presentation, thanks to the SoloTraveler. The power of listening personified by John Frances:
Now I have proof that it is ok to smile as much as I do. Even during presentations. Yes, I mind the situation and audience but I do tend to be a smiler. If you look closely at my picture (to the left) you will see that my eyes are smiling too. The crinkles in the corner are the giveaway. This full on smile is called a Duchennes smile.
A brilliant article in New Scientist collaborates the cerebral feeling I get when I smile will help me to live well into my 80’s. We live longer as smilers and our social networks run deeper. The article also states that forced smiles increase longevity too. Hmmm, let’s just call that practice smiling or the warm up to genuine smiles, only because I am not a fan of disingenuous smiles. Humour me.
As a speaker, smiling does help me to feel connected to the audience. Certainly when I rest my eyes for a few second on an audience member and elicit turned up corners of a mouth. The audience member’s reaction enables us to feel we are both on the same page and encourages me. The return smile also gives me insight into audience reaction in that my ideas and concepts are resonating.
While presenting, the importance of audience engagement and connecting to individuals can’t be stressed enough. As a vulnerable human being, whether through storytelling or facial gestures – smiling – you improve your chances of communicating your ideas.
I look forward to getting to 80 sage and smiley years. Will you join me?
Speaking with Marion Chapsal confirmed my understanding of why women speakers are under-represented. Both of us agreed that it is purely lack of confidence.
Let me interject here and argue against my statement. As a (woman) reader I would be annoyed (mildly put) to hear that in 2010 women lack confidence.
Lack of confidence…WT!
My theory contradicts my core beliefs and values. I’ve lived through women’s lib and have studied with confident, well educated female Gen Y’s. With the strides that women have made, why are they still the under represented gender in presentations and speaking engagements?
Marion lives in Beaujoulais country in France and I live on the west coast of Canada and from different geographic perspectives have made the same observation. Women hang back, they don’t elbow in to position themselves on the stage. Men present with bravado, women exhibit self-doubt. Women thank the audience for coming, men expect filled seats. Yes, all generalizations. However I am speaking from observation. Yes, I have seen strong, confident women speakers although not in majority.
When I conduct research for my blog I am always looking for clips of women orators/presenters. I have found meager pickings but have found many powerful examples of fine male orators. Women where are you? Challenge me, I would like to hang on to my theory of strong, confident women taking on stages and podiums.
To women who are contemplating taking a speaking role – take the leap and present with confidence. And men encourage your female colleagues to get up on the stage.
